I still remember the day Emir was born. Gosh, it has been already a decade! The first months were all about dedicating myself in body and soul to find more about him. His likes and dislikes about his new world. I know kids are the result of their upbringing, but they are individual first, with their own personalities and preferences.
As parents, we work on polishing them, we love them, we cuddle them, we protect them, and a million times or more, we justify their acts out of our love. We know they are strong-willed, but we can see further than others may, we can picture the amazing possibilities behind their behaviors. I can see my daughter’s determination behind her stubbornness, as I can see my son diplomatic abilities behind his loving kisses every time he wants something else. Yes, the translation of this feelings by using objectivity is clear: stubbornness and manipulation, but as their mother, I can see much more than that.
Their father and I can spend hours sitting on the back porch just watching them laugh, play. We enjoy the ways they negotiate, talk, share or fight with each other. It feels as if we are crazy people admiring those typical things that happen to everyone, but for a reason seem to be even more special under our little piece of heaven. It feels surreal to believe that they are made of us.
Considering their developmental own pace, it feels as if time has stopped in the backyard, they got stuck in time, everything seems to go slower, but it’s fine.
I still remember the unstoppable chain of interventions when they were little. Everything to correct their postures, to tone their tongues and speed their ability to talk. Not a strange experience to other parents of children with special needs. What wouldn’t we give to fix those things that the world labels as atypical, not to change them, but to make their lives easier? But a time comes when you realize that every child is unique and perfect in his own imperfections, just as we are as parents.
In the long road, you find yourself brimming with joy for being able to give them everything, everything you have, everything you are. At that time you realize that your purpose is not to change them in order for them to be accepted, your real goal as a parent is to give them all they need to realize how amazingly able they are just by being themselves. All that you want is for them to feel loved, complete and happy in their own skin.
Real love doesn’t compare. Real love only knows how to love.
And there they are, Emir practicing #photobomb at every picture, while Ayelen is all day worried about her #selfies. Nothing out of this world, and at the same time nothing we ever expected, but a life even much better than we ever dreamed of.
