I didn’t know anything about inclusion before I became the mother of two children with Down syndrome, nor did I truly understand the concept of diversity until the day I immigrated to the US. I believe the best lessons in life are those you learn from personal experience. Over the years, I have learned not only about inclusion but also to respect the vision of those who haven’t experienced these concepts personally, and because of this, they will probably never be able to truly understand them.
However, I believe there is a big difference between not understanding something and exercising your right to be indifferent, and not understanding something but believing you have the right to interfere and affect the rights of those who have personal experience and investment in something.
Reflecting on this belief system of mine, I want to introduce these 6 social behaviors which I believe have a profound effect on inclusion.
- The indiscriminate search for attention without consideration of the impact of our actions, and even, the impulsivity to create something without a clear goal can be harmful and we don’t even realize it. Proof of this is in the innumerable pages on social media that support prejudice. These pages haven’t been created to educate or promote awareness but to gain likes based on victimization and practices that segregate people with special needs under thousands of labels of idealization that limit them. Even when founders of these groups have good intentions, they’re going about “doing good” all wrong. The foundation of inclusion is not the existence of a chosen group of human beings but the reaffirmation that people with disabilities are people like everyone else with the same rights and responsibilities supported by law.
- An inability to listen and lack of commitment to learning directly impacts inclusion in many ways. Sadly, many people choose to feed their own prejudice instead of supporting the real cause behind pictures and videos shared on social media. I witness this behavior every day of my life through my across my channels and platforms and it never stops surprising me. In articles literally called, “They Are Not Angels,” people comment, “I love these angels.” I would say in 7 out of 10 comments, people tend to reinforce their own prejudices instead of learning something new.
One of my favorites incidents of this is: “I met someone like him a long time ago. I love all these kids. They are sweet and innocent forever.” My response: “Dear Person, if you met someone who changed your life for the better with his charming and unique personality, out of respect for him, recognize that person as an individual. That’s the best way to show respect and consideration to that important person in your life. Not all people with Down syndrome are ‘sweet and innocent forever’ and you shouldn’t expect them to be either.”
- The appalling monetization and commercialization of the inclusion process aren’t working for us. I don’t know how but we have come to a point at which inclusion is managed as an economic transaction that is only affordable to those can pay for it. Schools, parents, and communities claim to not to have enough money to make inclusion possible. And even though I agree that the inclusion process benefits from an economic investment to maximize its efficiency, real inclusion is not just free but priceless. If we justify the lack of inclusion based on lack of monetary investment, then inclusion is never going to happen because we are killing it without giving it a chance. We are depriving our communities of natural inclusion, and we are giving up on our right to promote diversity as we celebrate every member of our society. The reason inclusion doesn’t work all the time is that inclusion doesn’t work all the time! Like every other social improvement, it requires commitment, adjustment, and the realization that perfection is not the goal. Growth and adaptation work toward the main objective of eventually adopting real inclusion as a common practice that is part of our community and our social behavior.
- The desire for favoritism shielded in the word “inclusion” is entirely wrong. Inclusion is not synonymous with favoritism. It is not about giving someone more than he or she deserves in comparison to their peers based on pity or privilege. Inclusion is the educated analysis that allows us to determine what is missing to give a person tools that will enable him or her to set them up in a position of equality with others. Inclusion is not synonymous with “special treatment.”
- Rejection of inclusion as an outcome happens with lack of education or poor practice of the process. Clearly, the easiest thing to do is to refute the benefits of inclusion based on our mental limitation to believe that it is not going to work or that is a social ideal impossible to achieve. The really tough choice to make is to accept with honesty that inclusion is not an established process that ensures immediate results. Inclusion is hard work that requires analysis, adjustments, passion, and great devotion. When it doesn`t work it’s because of lack of proper education, lack of the right amount of time invested, and improper application of practices. The whole problem, in my opinion, continues to be the lack of individualization. We want to do it backward; we want the person to adjust to the typical environment instead of adjusting the environment to the individual. Don’t say inclusion doesn’t work if you’re not willing to do it right.
- We do a disservice to our children with our lack of commitment to education and our personal decision to avoid our responsibility to better understand the law and its implications. Our lack of civic engagement highly affects the inclusion of our children and many other rights we have but don’t exercise. The rhetoric that law doesn’t work is just an excuse. The truth is that most parents have never read the law! They’d rather perpetuate the myth that it doesn’t work instead of taking the time to study, analyze, and activate it as they demand their children’s rights. Most battles aren’t lost because of the malfunctioning of the law, but due to lack of involvement as our children’s best advocates. We need to keep learning, asking questions, empowering other families to do the same, and just like that we will be able to make the law more functional.
Those 6 points aside, we can keep blaming others for our shortages, or we can take responsibility and start making a difference through educated and effective advocacy. Our biggest role as parents, and coming back to the fact that in order to understand it you have to experience it personally, is to educate ourselves and educate people around us to generate social awareness in regards of the need of inclusion in our communities. Our fight must not be emotional but rational under the firm conviction that it is our children’s right to belong as a part of this world with no limits. Their abilities need to be celebrated with the proper tools and support, a reality which is established under the law with the intention of generating equality through the achievement of inclusion.
I am going to leave you with a final thought: As parents, educators, professionals, and citizens of this world is our social behavior generating inclusion or segregation? I encourage you to reflect on your own choices and determine how you can work toward inclusion in your community.
