Lately, most of my stories are about my son, Emir. I supposed this is because of all the changes he is facing and all the amazing experiences related to his transition into his teenage years. Emir is already 14 years old, is attending middle school fully included with a modified curriculum, and is growing up as a very typical teenager. Last weekend he asked me to take down his Minions shower curtain, followed by the redecoration of his bedroom, which used to be his Minions fortress. The yellow guys went down after six years of decorating his whole world. The curtains, Minion dolls, and rugs were stored in boxes along with an assortment of now age-inappropriate toys and books. One of his most precious treasures from years past, his Minions fart machine, was inherited by Yaya.
I could say that this is a very natural transition and that Emir is probably more advanced than other kids with Down syndrome of his age who behave like younger kids; however, this transition is the result of inclusion: a natural push to keep him growing. Speaking of growing, and specifically physical changes, this summer Emir grew up like never before. His mustache started to show along with a deepening in his voice. His appearance changed completely and he’s turned into this athletic, handsome guy. All these physical changes are just natural and can’t be avoided or limited; however, the psychological ones must be shaped by modeling, expectations, repetition, and motivation. There is a lot of one-on-one talking involved, and there a lot of natural supports to help him grow as we celebrate his advances.
How Can You Support Your Teenage Child with Down Syndrome?
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Stop treating him like a little kid. I know, it is not easy and chronological age doesn’t always go along with cognitive development in the case of people with Down syndrome. However, modeling and having clear expectations can help. It’s not about pressuring them to change but about helping them to advance.
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Facilitate inclusive activities with same age children. Ideally, all children with special needs would grow up alongside typical, same age children.This typical interaction models and shapes their behavior. In reality, this doesn’t always happen in the academic environment; however, families can facilitate this kind of interaction through community and inclusive extra-curricular activities.
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Give your child responsibilities according to his or her age and his or her abilities. The child’s first natural environment, which is usually his or her home, is the perfect place to take advantage of natural opportunities to strengthen responsibility. Creating a visual schedule of activities with rewards and consequences can help to get you started.
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Help your child make choices. Don’t make decisions on his or her behalf but involve and include your child in every decision related to him or her. Communication is built along with repetition and interaction. Practice and motivate age-appropriate communication as often as you can.
Keep in mind that none of these things by themselves are miraculous or as simple as they sound. Repetition, consistency, and determination are the pillars of success when it comes to helping your child advance and gain autonomy and self-determination as they age. Just don’t be surprised when you wake up one morning and barely recognize your child! They truly do grow up so fast.
