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I would like to start this article by flaunting my brilliance and expertise as a perfect mother with the ability to differentiate between celebrating and spoiling a child; however, my intention is the opposite. I am writing this piece from the humbleness of feeling “played” by my daughter. For those of you who follow us on Facebook, you may have seen Yaya live recently doing a ketchup and jelly sandwich. What? The truth is that I didn’t realize exactly what was happening until I watched the video again last night. She played me with her sweet talk about the eyes and nose of her alien sandwich. She made the hair out of jelly with my help. My excitement to hear her speaking, to see her so happy and satisfied, blurred my logical thinking completely.
The line between celebrating and spoiling a child is very fine. Anyone who knows me would know that I’d never let my children eat a ketchup and jelly sandwich, but this video is the irrefutable proof of how emotions interfere with our logic, and how children learn how to manipulate us by using our weaknesses.
How was Yaya able to make a ketchup and jelly sandwich, receive positive attention from me, and get thousands of views on Facebook at the same time?
Easy..
- She heard me coming, so she was smart enough to yell, “Wait! I have a surprise for you. Turn on your camera.” She knows I love recording her adventures.
- She came up with a sweet character and associated it with a movie we saw together. She basically told me a story to distract me from the main goal which wasn’t to talk about a ketchup and jelly alien but to eat it as a sandwich.
- She made me an accomplice. She invited me to join her adventure in the sweetest and most innocent way. She even made me put the jelly hair on the alien sandwich.
Take a moment and analyze the ability involved in this exercise of manipulation of me. And no, it wasn’t spontaneous because she knows I wouldn’t let her eat a sandwich like this. Everything was calculated and it worked. She played me. And I am not blaming her because I should be smarter than this, but I take this experience as one to reflect on and share: How many times do our children play us and then we celebrate things we would never allow if the emotional component wasn’t so rooted in everything they do or achieve in life?
Last night I told Ayelen, “I can’t believe you played me like that.” She laughed and told me, “It was a delicious sandwich.” The response confirmed my suspicions. I laughed along with her because I have to admit there was a lot of creativity behind this venture; even though, I fully admit my lack of objectivity and lack of insight leads me to sometimes spoil her. It’s nothing uncommon or out of this world. As I always say, we are more alike than different.
Next time though, I hope to have a bit more preparedness for her tactics. Only time will tell, I suppose.
