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My first 2020 article: We build them to become the leaders of their lives, and for that, we educate them, we push them, we motivate them and we celebrate them every single day. That is probably the most important reason to reject the titles that the world assigns to us for parenting children with disabilities. That is why we have to say, “thank you but no thank you” to the “special parents” titles. There is this single and powerful reason: this is not about us. This is all about them and just them. People get very conflicted about this, but in reality, every time we accept our “divinity” for having children with disabilities, we put them in second place to shine as saviors or saints. We chose us over them, and we hurt them as individuals.
I’ve been doing social media since my children were born. I didn’t know if at one point they would take over but the last year, Ayelen and Emir started doing videos as a life project to grow their individual audiences and start building their own brands. Since then, I have been trying to be seen less to give them the spotlight. Even though we will always stay connected as a family, my intention is to help them become independent and evaluate if this is what they want for their futures. Their lives have been highly influenced by me and my career as a communicator and an activist, but at the same time, they love it and they have it in their genes. They have learned how to move in front of the cameras and to engage their audiences with their own abilities, so if this is something they want and can help them lead their own lives, of course, I am going to help them achieve it.
This journey has blessed us with hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people celebrating their abilities. However, something intriguing and always shocking is the amount of negativity that comes from parents of children with disabilities. These are parents that claim that Emir and Ayelen are being exposed implying that they don’t have the ability to make choices. These are the parents who blame me for teaching them to be independent. These are the parents who want to be forever in charge of their children and don’t believe in pushing them to be independent. They truly believe it’s their job to do it all for them because they have a disability and it’s better to protect them than to enable them. This is sad and concerning. We tend to blame the world for lack of opportunities for inclusion for our children, but what happens when we are the ones choosing to limit them under our own fears or our desire to sustain our “special” titles?
With this, I am not saying that every person with disabilities should be in front of a camera or be an influencer. On the contrary, what I am trying to say is that those with the ability to do it have to do it responsibly to reclaim their right to be seen because representation matters. These people with disabilities with the ability to influence must break stereotypes, normalize disability and build an inclusive community that acts and reacts like the rest. To believe that our children with disabilities are not built to be influencers is just an extension of the old days when they used to be hidden because people used to believe that hiding them was the best way to protect them from the harm of public shame.
With this reflection, I being a new year. With a strong faith in a new beginning. With much excitement to continue to see my children grow as individuals and community leaders. Grateful for the incredible blessings that growing along with them have brought to my life. With the same old dream to strengthen their independence so they need me less to feel more capable as individuals every single day. I want to see them shine with their own abilities as I do the same with mine. We all deserve that.
