Allow me to share with you the story of a rising self-advocate. Yesterday, I received a call from Ayelen’s support teacher. She called me to apologize because without even realizing it and with the best of intentions, they had done something that deeply offended Yaya. They changed Yaya’s schedule without letting her know, and therefore, Yaya got upset and refused to follow the new and unexpected schedule. The reason behind this change was to give Yaya an easier schedule, however, and without diminishing the great intention behind the act, how did they come up to this conclusion without asking the most important person, Yaya?
This is a lesson that benefits us all, not only teachers but also parents and professionals in general because we all make mistakes constantly. This one, in particular, it’s a good reminder that a person-centered approach is always the best as it supports and strengthens self-advocacy. From small to larger changes, from adaptations to modifications, whatever happens, that affects directly or indirectly the life of a person, must be run through that person. It doesn’t matter if that person has a lot or little to say about it. That person matters, that person is the center, and just by being informed, that person is acknowledged and her rights are respected.
From the close-minded perspective, a different teacher or a non-qualified professional would have blamed Yaya for being stubborn or defiant, or could have done the easy thing that is to blame Down syndrome with typical phrases such as, “they are stubborn.” But from an open-minded perspective and a teacher that is not only a teacher but is also an ally, this was just a reminder of the power of self-advocacy.
From my perspective as a mother, I couldn’t be prouder of Yaya. She has committed deeply to learning and understanding her schedule for feeling safe and successful, and with no doubt, she has the right to be informed and approved changes made for her schedule and for any other part of her life.
As the teacher was telling me the story yesterday, I felt tempted on several occasions to apologize for Yaya’s behavior, but I didn’t. I didn’t because it’s time for all of us to accept how our own behaviors can escalate our children’s and students’ behaviors. I talked to Yaya when she came back home about the incident, and she replied with a solid and strong attitude, “People cannot change my schedule without telling me.” And yes, she is right.
