The Sooner You Accept and Understand The Role That Disability Plays in the Life of Your Child, The Easier it Will Be to Live with a Focus on Abilities
Trying to avoid the influence of disability in the development and abilities of people with disabilities is probably the most dangerous thing we can do as parents. Denying the existence of a disability is not only frustrating for parents but can be extremely sad and confusing for children. I have no doubt that as parents, we all make decisions out of love that we consider the best for our kids. However, the greatest and best decision begins with making peace with our feelings to accept where our insecurities come from.
In the case of disability. If we live to claim that disability doesn’t exist and that is a societal construction that lacks reality, we may find ourselves trying to achieve absurd goals that we consider important to demonstrate our point. Without even realizing it, we may lose focus and put our children in second place in our attempt to demonstrate that limits don’t exist.
To me, there is a positive and honest way to approach these feelings.
- Don’t think about labels of any kind as you allow your child to show the way.
- Let your child show you how much he or she can and how much they need.
- Don’t get obsessed about “fixing” your child but instead, get excited about “maximizing” your child.
- Practice meditation or any other form of self-reflection to find peace and harmony inside your heart and mind. You don’t need to do it all today and for sure, you don’t and you cannot know it all at this exact moment.
The sooner you accept how societal pressures and unconscious biases affect our minds and behaviors, the easier is going to be to live with a focus on helping your child become the best possible version of him or herself.
The sooner you understand that there is more than one way to be capable, the easier is going to be to see the ability and the possibility in every single thing.
The sooner you make peace with the fact that disability exists and there is nothing wrong with it, the easier it will be to realize that the problem is not disability on its own but how in our attempt to erase disability, we leave our children unprotected.
When we claim that disability doesn’t exist we erase our children’s rights to protection. We put full responsibility on them for their challenges, and instead of fighting for accessibility so we can build together a society in which we embrace and promote equity and diversity, we become allies of ableism and prejudices. These two are constantly trying to erase diversity as a way to defend the irrational and unflexible thinking of what is considered perfect.
I wish you love, reflection, and the ability to rethink and reinvent yourself as needed. It’s a path of growth and transformation. No perfection is needed.
