As parents, we tend to get very stressed and confused when we hear complex terminology such as Executive Functioning Skills. We immediately think about how someone else can make this happen for our children, or which therapy is the right one to “fix it.” It’s just natural to feel overwhelmed and confused, and also desperate and anxious about doing something quickly. However, there is no easy fix or isolated intervention. All the opposite, the goal should be to work as parents on a mindset of progress that helps us understand that this complicated term is nothing else than the day-to-day skills that we all have gained throughout our lives with discipline and structure.
Are our children with disabilities going to be able to follow them perfectly or effectively at all times? As it happens with us and the rest of the world, the answer is most probably, no. However, with our support and consistency, we must aim for them to achieve the maximum of their abilities while embracing these skills with the right accommodations and modifications so they are made accessible to them and their learning style.
Let’s review below an easy example of a key executive functioning skill and how to help our children process this concept as it becomes a part of their life skills.
Following a schedule effectively.
I would say that one of the biggest challenges I experienced when my children were younger was the transition from a preferred activity to a different activity, or even, ability to try something unknown. This executive functioning skill is extremely important as it does facility greatly their inclusion and participation at school and community, however, is not an easy one to be achieved.
For many kids, these supports are going to be needed indefinitely and it’s completely fine. Identifying what works is the real goal. Incorporating those supports as formal accommodations is valid under the law and therefore, it’s a right for people with disabilities.
I learned that in the case of my children and many others, including typical children, visual schedules and social stories are amazing tools. Nowadays my kids are teenagers and still benefit from visual schedules. (BTW, they still make mistakes – including me) When they were toddlers and younger children, their visual schedules included their favorite cartoon characters and things like stars and stickers were very helpful. As they started growing their visual schedules grew along with them with pictures, descriptions, and most importantly, with expectations.
Repetition, consistency, and clear directions are key.
But something very important to take into consideration is as well our level of expectation. It needs to be high but realistic. Strong but flexible. Yes, it’s not easy and we need to remain empathetic and patient at all times. But, as hard as it is to remain objective when disability and personality intersect, it’s also important to develop a plan for ourselves to learn to make that distinction as we reflect on the influence of disability and the influence of typical age-related behavior. To me, this is probably the most challenging part of all.
And like that next time you think about Executive Functioning Skills and feel anxious or concerned about it, think about all the things you can achieve at home by setting a plan, having clear rules, practicing consistency, creating visual calendars and reminders, explaining concepts through social stories or videos. In other words, focus on yourself first and set a plan.
Believe me that you are doing much more than you can’t even imagine, just by having a plan and sticking to it. There are going to be good days and bad days too, as it happens with all families. Celebrate the good ones. Embrace the tough ones with faith and love, and reflect on the lessons they may bring to you and your family.
You can learn more about this concept with a click here.
