As defined by @_TheOtherBox, Critical thinking is the practice of resisting assumptions, considering alternative perspectives, and doing your research to form an objective conclusion. This definition intersects with the concept of diversity. So, it easily applies to our roles as parents of children with disabilities.
As I read this publication this morning, I kept associating it to the confusion we experience as parents when our children are born or first diagnosed. After providing the definition, the post goes to the application of critical thinking when the abundance of information creates confusion. This confusion is something common for our families. In our attempt to avoid mistakes, we try to get all the answers as soon as possible as if there would be something that applies to all children with the same condition or diagnosis. Without realizing it, we make our very first mistake by ignoring the process of thinking critically about our children as individuals and not as a disability.
I really don’t know if this mistake can be avoided or is just a natural one we will all experience in this unexpected role. I remember listening to older parents tell me things like, “one day at a time” or “you don’t need to know all the answers right now.” But the more controlling you are, the more anxiety it causes to wait while you feel wasting precious time.
I needed to make my own mistakes to learn these lessons. Critical thinking came to me as a result of daily mediation and reflection. This conscious decision of challenging my beliefs helped me open my mind to take risks. I unlearned and relearned things to gain the confidence to speak up my mind from a position of flexibility. By understanding that nothing is rigid and that additional information brings new answers, I have learned to control my anxiety and focus on my children as individuals.
To me, critical thinking is breathing deeply and creating a dedicated space in mind to debrief and assess challenges from an impartial perspective. Nowadays, the pandemic is causing so many additional problems for all of us as a society. We need to commit to using critical thinking to collaborate with others more than ever.
We need to give our children a break because they are going through much more than they can express. We need to give ourselves a break. We have experienced this uncertainty before, and we will continue to experience it throughout our lives. We have to use the information and resources available and do the best we can with them.
Thinking critically about things also allows us to be honest about the things we can change and the ones we have to address differently. Some things don’t change, at least not immediately, and blaming ourselves will only bring shame and frustration. In those cases, we need to change and address our approach. It doesn’t mean giving up but investing faith in the process as we navigate it with focus and commitment to keep learning, growing, and self-transforming to transform everything around us.
