It takes a lifetime to learn to see life from a broader and more inclusive perspective because, even though we constantly do it and it’s natural – we speak from our experience without realizing the limitations of our knowledge and how this behavior goes against the diversity we preach.
We are all too different, and every life is too complex for us to believe that from our individual standpoint, we have the capacity to provide answers to those we don’t know and whose lives we can’t even imagine.
Today I woke up thinking about this after a week in which I have once again confirmed that I don’t raise angels but teenagers loaded with emotions who are still learning to live and deal with their feelings. I continue to learn about myself while learning alongside them.
And because meditation and reflection always bring me peace and balance, I began to think, how can we present the reality of life to new parents in a harmonious and realistic way? And this occurred to me:
Instead of repeating this famous phrase loaded with ableism that says,
“They can do anything.” Perhaps, “No one can do everything, and your task won’t be to make them do everything but to closely accompany them in discovering and maximizing what they can do.”
I believe that often it is us, the parents who have to work on coming to terms with what our children cannot do to avoid burdening them with our frustration and anguish. The expectation is not in them. It’s us who inject it, and as parents, it’s our job to adjust and, through emotional intelligence, teach them to manage their emotions.
We always speak from our experience to make sure they are “not this or that,” and we judge everything from their physical appearance to their intellectual capacity and emotional potential. Because we see a bodybuilder, we believe everyone can develop muscles. Because someone graduates from university, we think everyone will become engineers.
But before making these assertions, we don’t think about the one absolute truth, which is that “we are all human beings,” and everyone is different. There are different physical aspects, intellectual and physical abilities, support systems, but above all, diverse personalities and interests. In the end, no one is one thing or another based on their diagnosis or lineage. In the end, it’s the intersection between diagnosis, personality, and individual circumstances that writes the story.
Does this mean that destiny is already written? Not necessarily, but there are solid foundations that we must consider as the basis for the adjustments we want to make to maximize our children’s opportunities and abilities.
And finally, along the way, we will learn the most humbling lesson of all: even giving it our all, nothing will ever be perfect because no one and nothing is, and that’s what life is all about.
