It’s been a week in a row of teacher’s notes home regarding my daughter’s BAD behavior. Dealing with behavior issues. These are the sh**tty days when I want to hide. Last Tuesday, when I wanted to surprise my daughter’s teacher with some delicious chocolate covered strawberries, I was the one surprised when I found my little angel in her most stubborn attitude, determined to defeat everyone around her. God knows I do my best every day in my quest to instill in her values of a good human being, but it just doesn’t work all the time.
Some days I feel like hiding. It all becomes just too much and no matter how much energy you invest in making your children exemplary citizens of this world, it just doesn’t happen as easily as it should, much more when your children have diagnosed special needs. And, for the record, I believe that ultimately, we all have undiagnosed special needs of some kind.
And there I was, thinking about myself and my crazy life after trying to recover from last night’s anxiety attack and the 10k calories I consumed out of frustration when I remembered this book called “Sh*tty Moms”, so I decided to give it a read.
I have tons of pending projects to complete as soon as TODAY, but here I am, on Mother’s Day eve, reading about how my children want to ruin me, according to these four sh*tty moms. Though, what immediately caught my attention was the phrase: “Stop not taking the easy way out.”
I’m pretty ignorant on how to achieve this goal. I’m always fighting for something else, supported by the idea that human evolution the answer to us all, but maybe I’m wrong. Maybe, instead of pushing so hard for the world to understand the gift of inclusion and diversity, I should take my children with me and move to a lonely farm where I can homeschool them while we grow organic produce and I dedicate myself to writing and daily yoga.
But, because I’m still here and not there yet, I kept reading the book. I laughed hard while completing the quiz, and I was surprised to find that I’m not as devoted as I think I am. I’m probably more of a sh*tty mom than anything else, and that’s why it’s so hard for me to go against my natural instincts in order to try to be “the perfect mother” who shows up at school with expensive chocolate covered strawberries for Teacher Appreciation Week. In other good news, I almost got a “hero” score, which means I’m a superior being as part of this species. I haven’t yet decided if that’s sarcastic or not…
Because I work from home, I agreed with every tip on how to survive a work-conference-call, and I got new tips on how to survive summer vacations along with my kids, who don’t have an extended school year. Before I knew it, I was already in the middle of the book. And the answer came to me after reading the chapter: “Oh, You Just Had An Epic Meltdown.” First, I’m a Florida mom, so according to the Sh*tty moms, I qualify under the sudden change of Florida mom’s behavior (you’ll have to read it to really get it). Second, I embraced last night’s meltdown because I understood that it happens to us all. I have the right to feel this way and I’ll be back to normal soon; whatever normal is in my mind.
And to end this amazing journey of acceptance, I cried and laughed while reading the chapter about what it’s like to be a single mom, and I was happy to find that I’m living through the rediscovery stage. According to the book, this happens when you are back to consuming sexual and violent content in the media… I think my “Shameless” addiction explains it all.
Thank you, Sh*tty moms, for this unprecedented therapy session. Hopefully next time, you’ll consider adding a chapter about “sh*tty special needs moms,” like me and many others. We certainly could use a dose of humor, camaraderie, and perspective, Sh*tty moms style.
